Monday, November 12, 2007

Things You Probably Shouldn't Ask....

My local RWA chapter, GRRRWA, had a fantastic guest speaker this weekend. A policeman. Not to sound like a five year old who just saw a fire truck parked at the neighbors house, but seriously, he was a real policeman with a gun and a taser and a badge and everything. No horse or motorcycle, but all the rest of the stuff.

Now, if you're like me, you can sympathize with the urge to, when meeting someone in a profession you have very little knowledge of, ask as many questions as you possibly can, even if you sound incredibly stupid. I do this with the following people:


  • Pilots
  • Doctors
  • Football players
  • Members of our Armed Forces
  • Senators, state or otherwise
  • Meteorologists
  • Policemen
  • People who like to golf.


And I can't stop the questions from flowing out my word hole. I asked him who cleans up murdered people. How much sweet, stinky weed you can get caught with before it becomes a felony. How they wrestle people down and handcuff them. What cops would think if Batman and Spiderman were real. I just barely restrained myself from asking if he'd ever been shot and if he would taser me so I could see what it was like.

Needless to say, I learned a lot. The most disappointing answer was that if Spiderman and Batman were real, they really wouldn't be doing the police any favors, because the police couldn't just pick up a guy wrapped up in a web and charge him with a crime they didn't see. Which makes sense, I guess, but damn. I can't believe I've lived my whole life as a lie.

Anyway, I was thinking. This is a golden opportunity to answer some burning questions I know people must have about being a writer. So, I'm going to attempt to do that right now:

Top Ten Answers To Questions Frequently Asked Of Writers:

  1. Not as much as you'd think, and certainly not enough to support my lifestyle, which is fabulous.
  2. You have to use stilts, because it's up really high.
  3. Tomorrow.
  4. Yes, that does look infected.
  5. No, it would be foolish to remove the restraining bolt, as it is likely that your droid will just run away.
  6. Probably not more than six, just to be safe.
  7. A turkey sandwich, but then only with help.
  8. Family Feud reruns.
  9. Goal setting is EXTREMELY important.
  10. I say, tell the warden. Everyone loves a snitch.


I hope that helps clear up some of the mystery about what I do.

3 comments:

  1. You didn't ask him if he ever have been shot?? But that's like, the most important question that cops get asked ever! Tsk, you should have asked.

    And if you want to know how it feels to get tasered, just gimme the word and I'll use my taser on you. And no, I am not a cop.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This has nothing to do with your post but...

    Saw you begging for chocolate and a free book (after I added my comment to try and win).

    Wanted to let you know that I love your books, just got the latest "Book Three" from Amazon on Monday and it's next in my pile o' books to read (currently reading Lilith Saintcrow's The Devil's Right Hand). Might actually put that one aside for a bit, it hasn't caught my attention like the first 2 in the series did and I seem to only read a chapter or 2 at a time. Normally I don't do anything but take food and bathroom breaks and fall asleep for a few hours, sometimes with the book still in hand...

    It's always great when you wake up because the book finally fell out of your hands and hit you in the face or chest and startles you awake... Heh.

    Other books in big o' pile to read soon, Midnight Alley (book 3 Morganville Vampires) by Rachel Caine, Katie MacAlister's Holy Smokes (Aisling Grey Guardian Novel), Tanya Huff's Blood Book series, Drew Silver's The Vampire Within: New Blood, and MANY MANY others...

    One last question... When do we get more yummy books from you? How about another series to add to the Blood Ties series??? Hee. Please, I want more...

    Paranormal Junkie

    ReplyDelete

Say some stuff! If you can't think of anything to say, leave a link to a cute dog picture. I'm easy.