Tuesday, December 4, 2007

HHTV: The Hasselhoff Channel. All Hoff, All The Time

I come to you today with two Hofftastic videos from the man himself. The first, a commercial for some internet company, in which Hoff declares himself King of The Internet. Bow, worthless plebes, your new master demands supplication! Bow! BOW!

Have you ever wondered what Hoffski would look like dressed up as The Crocodile Hunter? A snow boarding eskimo? An Alaskan cruise line advert? Well, today is your lucky day, my friend, because the following video has all that and more, set to the soothing sounds of the man himself singing "Hooked On A Feeling" and dancing with Masai tribesmen. What's that you ask? Is this heaven? Have you finally drunk yourself into sweet oblivion, never to return to the cruel world of mortals. No. Put down that bottle my friend, because by clicking play, you're about to enter a Nirvana you've never before dreamed of obtaining. Inner peace is about to be yours. Ooga Chaka!

Sometimes, when I'm bare chested in a long coat, wandering down a deserted beach with no rescue in sight, I remind myself that somewhere, David Hasselhoff might be doing exactly the same thing. And then the world does not seem quite so empty and wild. Let Das Hoff take you away... on the wings of tenderness. And seagulls.

Tune in tomorrow for an in-depth review of El Hoff's autobiography, and don't miss the rest of the Hofftacular Spectacular, all this week, right here.


  1. So I'm thinking that a "castle built out of honesty" must entail a lot of empty booze bottles, half-eaten cheeseburgers and a whole lot of hair product.

  2. Holy crap! I just had time to watch the videos. It's...surreal. And the lyrics are divorce worthy. Wow.

  3. HEY! It's the fifth of December and I'm anxiously awaiting the next installmeent of the HHTV!!!

    I feel cheated.


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