Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Well, shit.

Because I was under the misguided impression that RT started on April 23, not April 16, I have had to drop out of Assassins. Damnit, and I was going to be so good, too!

I'm still sick, and enjoying the view from behind my reading glasses immensely. Everything outside of three feet in front of me is kind of wavy and laid back. I know I'm probably going to go blind enjoying this gentle curve to the scenery, but Pink Floyd is on at Dino's and I just don't care.

Okay, so I read something incredibly dumb on TEH INTARWEBS this morning. See, in the online Pagan community (well, the Pagan community, in general, but especially in the online portion of it), you tend to run into individual who will spout all kinds of nonsense that they believe, stuff that makes absolutely no sense at all, and they expect everyone to bow down before their superior knowledge because PAGANISM CAN BE WHATEVER I WANT IT TO BE OMG!!!11!!! If you don't immediately go, "Right, you're really, actually a dragon, you just can't show me your true form because I'm not a Shaman and only Shamans can see dragons in their true forms without having their tiny minds blown apart," then you're totally persecuting them on a never-again-the-burning-times kind of way.

Now listen, I'm as flighty and flakey as the next New Age believer. I worship and pray to deities that do horrible things to mortals and themselves, and some who live in the trees and sleep all winter. I have as many issues as the next Pagan. But today I read something that made me go, "OMG, Pagans are fucked up."

The statements in question came from a LiveJournal post in which the poster says that while researching the ancient Celts, they found a drawing of an androgynous, animal-like creature in one of their Pagan books. They meditated on it with their "master" (here meaning "teacher", not like the kind of master Brynn writes about) and came to the conclusion that the Celts actually existed before humans. This is groundbreaking! To think that a group of humans existed before their species did!

When people pointed this out to the lunaticoriginal poster, they replied with, "I know this sounds so different from everyone elses, but I am coming from history in art and using sheer intuition."

This is the best excuse I've ever heard of for blatantly ignoring established scientific, archaeological, and anthropological evidence in direct contradiction of one's own personal theory. From now on, whenever I say something that is later proven to be wrong, I will argue that I am correct, coming from history in art and using sheer intuition.

Usually, I just blame everything on Pon Farr.

Seriously, random internet poster, you have just knocked "Because it's in the Bible!" out of the number one spot in my top ten list of "Stupid Excuses To Believe Something Ridiculous That Has Been Debunked By Solid Scientific Evidence."

So, the standings are as follows:

Jennifer Armintrout's Top Ten Stupid Excuses To Believe Something Ridiculous That Has Been Debunked By Solid Scientific Evidence:

  1. "I am coming from history in art and using sheer intuition."
  2. "Because it's in the Bible!"
  3. "Silver Ravenwolf said so in To Fly A Silver Broomstick!"
  4. "I saw it on Dateline!"
  5. "It happened to that kid who was on Wonder Years!"
  6. "Someone sent me a forward about that!"
  7. "My grandmother swore by it!"
  8. "It was in a Thai medical journal."
  9. "I just do what feels right to me."
  10. "My lawyer advised me to."


  1. I'm sorry... Pagans are so not allowed to use "OMG". I mean really, what is that...let's think it out... Oh My GOD.

    Yeah, thanks.

    Get better Jen. So sorry about the asasins too. That sucks out loud.

  2. That has to be one of the best top 10 lists I have ever seen.

    I also hope you feel better soon.


  3. I think "I am coming from history in art and using sheer intuition." is the perfect excuse for just about everything and I plan to use it as often as humanly possible.

  4. I think I spewed something when I read Pagan online community. Aren't they supposed to be dancing around fires or something?
    Hope you get better.
    Next time, call me. I'm a human calendar and know when everything is scheduled (including the next Pagan full moon ceremony. It's the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox. No, wait, that's Easter.)

  5. lori from plainwellFebruary 27, 2008 at 5:21 PM

    i cant express my opinion on this because "I am coming from history in art and using sheer intuition."


Say some stuff! If you can't think of anything to say, leave a link to a cute dog picture. I'm easy.