Wednesday, October 5, 2011

"I'm Waving At Fat!"

As you might remember from my blog posts earlier this summer, I have taken up baking as a hobby. This might seem like the perfect activity for a severely overweight person– or not, now that I think about it– but in reality, this is less about "Ooh, cake!", because I don't really care for cake or actually, sweets in general, all that much. For me, it's about the challenge of making something and forcing other people to feign enjoyment of it, much like when my relatives read my writing.

Today, baking madness struck me, and I decided I would make some cupcakes. And while I was at it, I would make DOCTOR WHO cupcakes.

I sat and pondered my options. A giant, TARDIS shaped cake with carefully piped icing 'round all the windows? A wedding cake with all ten Doctors in "chibi" form, sculpted painstakingly from fondant?

No. Adipose. If cake makes you fat, and it most certainly seems to do that, shouldn't that fat just... walk away?

If you're unfamiliar with the Adipose, they're the friendly looking little critters up there. Or rather, their young are. See, in a Doctor Who episode titled "Partners in Crime", the Adipose babies, aliens from another world whose breeding planet has disappeared, hatch one by one from obese people who were taking a diet pill. Only, through a course of events that could only happen on Doctor Who, their breeding got sped up, converting all the obese person's body fat at once to these chubby little monsters. And their organs. And their bones.

At the end, of course, the Doctor saves everyone and the Adipose pick up their children, prompting Donna Noble to utter her most famous line:

Arguably the most adorable enemy the Doctor has ever faced, the Adipose babies lend themselves perfectly to the task of making cupcakes:

Perhaps fondant would have been a wiser choice, but who wants to eat a giant blob of fondant? Marzipan is way tastier, and the calories from them and the absolute PILE of homemade frosting on top means that I can make at least AT LEAST one more Adipose baby when Miss Foster bumps up the breeding program.

Assuming, of course, that we're in the alternate Donna Noble "There's something on your back" timeline.

I can think of worse ways to go.

If you're not into cupcakes, but you're more into free books, head on over to Bronwyn Green's Blog where she's giving away a copy of my latest release from Resplendence Publishing, BRIDE OF THE WOLF.

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