Lmao, you girls are wild! (creepy voice)I'm in yo' dreams, bitch!(/creepy voice) Honestly, this makes me feel like I'm doing a good job of spreading my taco doctrine far and wide. Taco-flavored kisses for all!I'm so glad you're covering this topic! Body image issues in American culture make me want to rage.
First roadhouse episode I finished. :) Haha sorry that sounds awful but it means this was much better too! Thank you for covering this topic, especially the skinny=healthy thing because that drives me nutsssss.
I find the idea of stalking extremely creepy. I've never been actually stalked though I have definitely felt 'creeped on' which could be a form of lesser stalking kind of like what you said about making excuses for people 'oh maybe he's just...*insert whatever here*'. It's sad because you don't want to walk around being a bitch to everyone you meet, but on the other hand politeness seems to be an invitation. I suppose you just kind of have to take that 'shut it down quick if it does get weird' middle ground. My grandparents raised me to be very friendly and nice and polite which works pretty well for small town Indiana where everyone knows most everyone (you go enough generations forward or backward and someone knows you're related to so and so, haha), but sometimes that leaves you looking awkwardly for an out in this weird polite conversation loop.I remember one time when I was making the drive from Indiana to Tennessee to see some southern relatives for some sort of break in school I stopped to get food, stretch my legs, and then of course get gas before I continued on. It was one of the first times I'd gone solo (if not the first), but anyway I was in some sort of fast food restaurant and I was eating and minding my own business and this dude starts talking to me some older guy like 40's or 50's to my not even 20. So I politely chatted and fudged the details of where I was from and where I was headed to err on the side of caution there were some more people around in the restaurant (it may have been a Wendy's) and it was a busy exit with lots of gas stations and food places and one that I'm pretty sure I'd stopped at before on the way to and from just not all by myself at the time. So I ate, did the small talk thing didn't get a creepy vibe ("lonely traveler guy, a little small talk isn't a big deal"), and then I said I was off threw away my trash got in my car and drove like feet over to the gas station where I started gassing up. It was then the dude followed me over and then I think asked me if I wanted to get a hotel somewhere with him. All I could muster was an, "Uhmm, no," and the guy left and fortunately there was someone directly on the pump opposite of me at the time. It really does escalate quickly and I was really unsettled at the time though I think he went back to the restaurant after (maybe he was just trying to pick up whoever would have him?), but thankfully that was the first and last problem of that kind I had. Though that was definitely a quick lesson on letting people know that you're interested in minding your own business.I definitely agree with what everyone is saying about weight. It's definitely something I've struggled with and still struggle with, and it's something that is hard to get in the right mindset about it. Here in the UK there were some dumbasses (who I think were teenagers) that leaned out of their car and told me as I was walking down the street minding my own business that the gym was the other way. In my brain I knew they were a bunch of drunk jackasses, but that didn't stop me from going on a Ben and Jerry's binge and feeling absolutely shitty for a few days. It was like a kick in the face, and then no matter how much someone else tells you how wonderful you are in your head space you're still telling yourself how much you suck. I'm not sure what I did that finally made me feel better, but part of it is acknowledging they are dumb teenagers and the other is accepting that if you are okay with yourself and you accept yourself then who cares what other people think. It's not easy that is for sure, but then you aren't damning yourself every time you eyeball a french fry I guess. It's a many layered issue, suffice it to say.
Stretch marks = tiger stripes, in my opinion. I EARNED them. I grew up fat, always been fat. Went anorexic for a year and dropped a bunch of weight, got complemented... but that kills a heart. Karen Carpenter is a great example of why skinny isn't always great. I think being healthy is more important than size. Everyone is different. My doctor said that with my metabolism, I would have had an advantage over those with higher metabolisms 700 years ago during a lean winter. The industrial revolution has not been kind to those with my kind of metabolism. The philosophy I subscribe to is related to tea. Everyone is a different brew of the same plant. No one is better than the other, but people have their preferences. I am not everybody's cup of tea, nor are they mine. And that's okay.
I love the Roadhouse and I just wanted to make this quick comment about your latest episode.D-Rock's comments about her sister actually hit really close to home for me, because my own older sister is the same way. I am a small person and, because of my body type, I'm skinny with a high metabolism. My sister has a slighly bigger body type, is taller than me, and is more buff due to working out regularly at the gym. She's one of the most beautiful women I know and is loved by many people, but she is constantly making terrible comments about her weight and body type. It's even worse when my sister and mother (who is a larger woman) get together and start talking about their weight.It makes my heart sick to hear them talk badly about themselves simply because our culture says they aren't skinny enough or their size makes them unhealthy. I feel even worse when they try to bring me into the conversation and, even though they don't mean to, make me feel bad for having my own body type. I just want them to feel good about themselves and to not worry about how small I am in comparison to them. That probably sounds like I'm trying to say "poor skinny me" and that's most definitely not my intention. I just don't want to be their benchmark. We have different bodies and there's no guarantee that they would be healthy if they were the same as me. I just want them to finally be happy with themselves and to love themselves as much, if not more, than I love them.Thank you for talking about this (and for letting me word vomit all over the comments section). It's something I have a hard time discussing and it makes me feel better to know that there are people out there that take this seriously.
I've just noticed the cage in the background. Do you have rats? : D
Thank you so much for talking about this! Recently I've dropped about 30 pounds after being diagnosed with heart failure. I'm a cheerful person, so I take what I'm given and work with it, but it makes me feel terrible when people tell me how great I look (and they know that I'm sick). I laugh it off and usually say something like, "It's not a diet I would recommend!"I try not to let it bother me, because I know that they are probably trying to find something positive to say about such a shitty situation. At the same time, pretending nothing is wrong just makes me feel worse. I was always the older sister with the (very) skinny younger sibling, but I tell you right now that I miss my curves and I would much rather have them back.Great episode...you guys rock :)
Thank you for discussing this. I've recently gained a little over fifteen pounds after switching depression medications (which kind of counteracts the whole "this is meant to fix your depressed state of mind" thing) and even though I was at a "healthy" body weight to begin with, the weight has caused me to go out and buy pants that are a size up from what I normally wear. Half my wardrobe doesn't fit my hips anymore because of this weight gain. When I last talked to my psychiatrist about the side effects of the medication, she laughingly asks me where I could possibly be gaining weight. Which makes me feel like I'm making a huge deal out of it all and slightly hurt that she's not taking me as seriously as she should be. I normally wear layers and baggy clothes, so it's hard to tell that I've gained any weight at all unless you look at my cheeks and know how they looked when I was at a legitimately healthy weight. I'm a petite-sized person, so any weight I gain affects me differently than it would on someone taller than me. I'm uncomfortable in my own skin and I just want off this medication and onto something different that doesn't run over me with multiple side-effects. I feel drained and useless and I'm pretty sure that's not what an anti-depressant is supposed to make me feel like. It doesn't matter how much I go to the gym or walk my dog, either. It's just sitting there on my gut laughing at me and making me feel like shit. I went through something like this in high school back when I was on the lacrosse team—I would lose a lot of weight during the season and gain it back when we were through and I have stretch marks on my thighs from the yo-yoing I would do. All in all, I was (and really I still am) quite unhappy with my body. Once I went off to college and, weirdly enough, started eating better I came back down to my correct body mass for someone my height. I was happy with how I looked and I felt great. And I stayed that way up until this medication change.What I'm trying to say is this: Even those of us who look "healthy" can be having difficulties with weight. I'm only about 5'2" and I might look like I'm healthy, but I'm overweight for my height. And I'm really struggling with myself to lose this weight around my gut and hips. But it's taking a turn for the scary because I find myself only eating one meal a day or only picking at little things during mealtimes. I'm terrified that I'm going to end up hurting myself all because I've gained some weight while on some new depression medication.Which really tells me that, not only is the medication giving me some annoying side-effects (other ones I won't mention to avoid losing the topic at hand), but that the depression medication is worsening my depression.
From my own experience, never eat just a single meal a day. It puts your body in starvation mode, which then makes your body hold onto every calorie you consume. If you can, spread out smaller meals/snacks through the day. Omega 3's and B vitamins can also help ward off depression. I'm not a doctor, but have been on antidepressants for years... you med dosage may need tweaking if you're feeling malaise and have been on your new med for more than 6 weeks. Talk to your doctor, though. And if that doctor doesn't listen, find a new one. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand. Hope you find a happier place.
I know how you feel. But maybe there is a solution. I am currently on an anti-depressant which helped me drop weight and quit smoking. After being on one that had me gain 20 pounds. The active ingredient is called Bupropionhydrochlorid. Talk to your doctor, maybe it is an option for you. The side effect is a little nausea in the first few days but later on its just a lack of appetite. So much that I sometimes have to force myself to eat to keep my strength up. You almost feel guilty for loosing so much weight without any suffering and even have to keep yourself from whining that you sooo much loved to eat chocolate and now you are barely able to finnish a bar.It's great for losing weight but you enjoy food less.
I wouldn't call you fat. Chubby, maybe, but not fat.It might be because I'm used to my best friend who is very heavily overweight.I do worry about his health, but he is an adult, and he knows he is fat...
I came for the 50 shades recaps, and then stayed for everything else! I have been fat my whole adult life after abuse as a child, and I used my weigh as a way to abuse/punish myself emotionally, for years (also as protection, but that's a whole different kettle of fish). There is such a stigma attached to this little word 'fat'.It's another way human beings can look at someone and put them into the "them" category automatically, and not have to do the hard work of actually learning anything real about another person. I now own that word (years of therapy, and a disabling disease helped change my focus...heh), and I create fat women artwork...not as the butt of the joke or the comic relief but to celebrate the female form. It's also not for any man's fetish fantasy (although I get those letters too) but for other women to see that the fat female form can be beautiful. It's heartening to get letters from other women who have grown up hating themselves and are on their own path of self acceptance. Creation of the art has been validation for myself, and very healing in so many ways. There is nothing wrong with us, we aren't broken, or second class citizens. We aren't stupid, we didn't 'let ourselves go'. We aren't accountable to anyone for the way we look, the way we live our lives, or how we view ourselves. It's no one's business, and the people who pretend to care about my health can go screw themselves, because it's arrogant and pretentious for them to even assume they know a darned thing about me and my life because they can see my pants are bigger than the pair they wear. I really think it all boils down to the fact that it's a man's world and if we aren't 'pleasing' or considered 'fuck-able' enough then we have no inherent value in society. I think about Hilary Clinton getting all that grief about wearing a yellow pant's suit to some meeting. As if it was her job to be worried about fashion instead of being the capable woman and Secretary of State that she was, as if it was noteworthy or mattered at all. Just because she wasn't living up a woman's 'unwritten social contract' of being a lust object, that she was derided. It makes me ranty. I don't need validation that I'm fuck-able in order prove my worthiness, I have value because I AM...and so does other human being, period. (I think I went a little soap boxing here.\o/ yay)Anyway it's such a trigger point to so many of us and this was an awesome episode of roadhouse, I will be tuning in next week for the continuation.
That was a really good episode and I'm pleased as punch (I'm so British!) that you read out my comment and that you took something from that. The biggest step in my journey to accept my body the way it is was to stop comparing myself to other women. I look how I look and no amount of angst is going to do a thing to change it. After that acceptance came very easily. Plus I already had pride about how strong I was to have survived my surgeries and my general situation, so it wasn't too hard to apply that pride to the way my body looked too.I am also really amused by your comment about my dad! My entire life he has had a large amount of female friends, but he also has lots of male friends too. My dad is an amazing, creative, non-judgemental, generous and just awesome person, which means a lot of people like him. He is a very relaxing person to be around, which I think is part of why he has a lot of female friends. He is completely non-threatening; not a misogynistic, chauvinist or sexist cell in his body.
Say some stuff! If you can't think of anything to say, leave a link to a cute dog picture. I'm easy.