Sunday, April 14, 2013

Recap schedule update

Hey everybody! My ongoing medical bullshit has sidelined me again, and I've been partially bed-bound for four days. I try to not too talk a ton about my super fascinating personal problems, but in case I haven't mentioned it before (I feel like I mention it constantly), I have Fibromyalgia, a fun syndrom marked by chronic, widespread pain, debilitating fatigue, and roughly 50% of everyone you meet offering you advice on homeopathic remedies that worked for their aunts. It also affects how your brain functions, so basically for the past four days I've been sick and stupid, which is an awesome combination that doesn't make for getting much work done, but I am tearing my facebook games UP. As such, the recap is delayed until I can get out of the grips of this flare up that has knocked me down.

However, in the interest of not just saying, "I'm sick, shit isn't getting done," for the forty-billionth time this year, let me offer you a selection of what I feel is my finest blogging work, that you may not have seen before:

So, tl;dr, the recap will, like a beautiful allergy sneeze softly illuminated by the setting sun, happen when it happens, and thanks for your patience.


  1. Hope you find relief soon Jen.

  2. I can empathize, as I shared my medical conditions with you via Facebook a few weeks ago. Flare-ups of any kind when you have a chronic illness that has debilitating pain as a symptom really knock you on your ass. I hope you crawl out of the hole soon. I was looking forward to the recap, but now I'm much more looking forward to awesome Jen feeling better. Bless your heart. Will send positive vibes through the universe toward Her Majesty the Queen of Trout Nation.

  3. Feel better soon. None of my aunts suffer from Fibromyalgia so no way I'm gonna offer you homeopathic remedies :-)

  4. I have friends who suffer from fibromyalgia as well as lupis. So I understand when you have your good and bad days. Hope you find some relief soon. And thanks for giving us reading material in the meantime!

  5. Cup of hot tea and some minions at hand, that should help you feel better. Oh, and Cannibal the Musical. That'll definitely help.

  6. BTW Jen, you might enjoy this woman's blog. Here's a posting about her experiences with her less than Einstein-like dog.

    Unfortunately she is suffering from severe depression and hasn't blogged in over a year. We keep hoping though.

  7. Feel better soon! My sister suffers from chronic migraines, so she gets the advice a lot too. My grandfather even suggested lobotomy once.

  8. I hope you feel better soon. Totally know what you mean on the homeopathic remedies. I have Tourrettes Syndrome, which is nowhere near as debilitating as fibromyalgia, I know. However, when I explain it to people (which I often do pretty quickly so they don't get wierded out by the weird eye movements and jerking) I constantly hear that, "I can cure that" or "You could be free from this if you did xyejdxhhs."

    And then they have the audacity to get offended when I tell them that that is quite offensive. Siiiiigh.

    *joking voice* (because I'm bored/procrastinating)
    None of my aunts suffer from Fibromyalgia (which my dictionary wants to correct to fibroblast, whaaaa?), BUT my great great grandpa's niece's cousin's uncle's dog's owner's girlfriend's step daughter's nephew suffered from it greatly. I'm sure that if you do exactly what he did, you will be cured. Here is exactly how the cure for fibromyalgia works:

    1. Exactly 2.5 days before the full moon, pick an apple off a tree with all its branches facing east.
    2. On the night of the full moon, perform the chicken dance in the middle of a forest while eating the apple. Now, be sure to be in a clearing so that you get as much moonlight as possible.
    3. Take the apple core and toss it into the nearest ocean. (For those of us in Michigan, Lake Superior, but ONLY Lake Superior, will suffice as an alternative.)
    4. Wait 4 weeks
    5. Catch a fish out of the ocean and or lake that you threw the apple into.
    6. Cook fish the way you prefer it (I'm vegan, so I've no idea)
    7. Then toss the perfectly cooked fish into the fire and let it burn
    8. take ashes of the fish and throw them to the wind on the night of a 3/4 moon exactly 3.59 miles from a river while singing a song with 9 lines consisting of 11 syllables exactly.
    9. Go home and go to sleep
    10. Wake up cured :)

    See? Simple and easy. Your problems are all solved. You're welcome.


    Aw, heck, I'm really bad at this. Here's a link to a cute kitty, is that acceptable instead of a puppy? I don't have any pictures of my puppy that are very good...

    if I can get it to work

    (she is religious Kitty, heh. And also in religious kitty heaven, now... :( )

    1. Your comment made me snicker, thank you. :)

      I am so sorry to hear about religious kitty. :( It's always hard to lose them. You have my sympathies.

      And Jen, I hope you feel better soon!

  9. I'm sorry you're stuck dealing with fibro. It's bad enough being fatigued all the time (and because I'm a masochist, I still try to live a normal life until I finally crash for a week, and right now is one of those weeks) and dealing with epilepsy and Tourette's (I've got to keep my stress low, and I've learned a biofeedback method to help control my Tourette's, though it isn't 100%, and sometimes fighting a tic outright hurts - yay for screwy brain....).

    Some homeopathic treatments work for some people, but after a while, people should just presume you've heard of it all. People do the same to me. "Try this, it'll help." "X worked for a friend." I'm a fan of trying homeopathic treatments first, but they don't all work, and it's tiring having to come up with polite ways to tell people to be quiet.

    The one thing that helps me to an extent is to find something to get really mad about and go rant. Find an idiot in a news article's comment's section, create a dummy account, and rip them a new one. It's an outlet for feeling icky and helps draw my attention from how I otherwise feel.

    Oh! It you take a pinch of salt and hold your eyelid open and drop the salt under your lid, the rest of your pain will go away. Of course your eye will hurt, but who said anything about relieving all pain? =D

    Love you, take it easy, and you'll be in my thoughts.

  10. I try to stick with inquiring if they have talked to a doctor about it, since people accessing medical care is sadly rare in my neck of the woods. Though I suppose you are doubly boned, and not in a good way, since fibromyalgia is not exactly the favorite of doctors.

    TL:DR 'That sucks bigtime, best wishes to you'.

  11. I have health problems too. Not the same ones (and I typically operate under the assumption that nobody cares which ones), but I feel for you about the advice thing. I dunno if you ever came across Spoon Theory, but i've found it useful from time to time when dealing with people:

    Its a pretty interesting read even if it does nothing for you.

    My cat is a little brain damaged from poor treatment as a newborn (I rescued him), so while he is loveable and cuddly, he's dumb as a bag of bricks and twice as dense. *sigh*

  12. This sucks as I've been stuck in bed for 6 weeks after knee surgery and your recaps are the only thing keeping me sane, but I'm sure it sucks WAAAAY more for you. Feel better soon Jen x

  13. I hope you feel better soon Jen. I will keep my Christian Grey rage in a tiny, anticipatory ball for your return.

  14. Hope you feel better soon! Fibromyalgia sounds like the asshole friend who kicks you in the kidneys as you're going downstairs.

  15. I hope you feel better soon! It must be awful to be bedridden with that much pain. You come off as such a strong person, though, to endure your health problems with humor.

    One of my kitties is also a little dumb... She's a rescue and I she suffered a lot as a baby, especially malnutrition...

    I'm sorry if my English is not that good, it's a second language.

  16. Hope you feel better Jenny. No recommendations for treatment. But, perhaps to ease your bed rest, and to lighten the major depressive episode I'm currently having (sucks when your brain doesn't work right, eh?) - I shall regale you with my supposedly gifted girl's version of the Nazi salute post.

    Uh, not here, on the Nazi salute page so I don't clutter this one...

  17. I am sad you are sick/bummed about the recap. Well until I read that post about your son heil-ling Hilter which made my night. I am now quite happy that your misfortune brought that into my life.

  18. I think that recapping Fifty Shades of Grey messed up your health. You need a puppy or a kitten treatment five times a day.

  19. Confession time. When I discovered (read: fell in love w) you, I went through and read every single post on your blog. Yeah, I'm the creepy stalker type.

  20. Like everyone else, I really hope you feel better soon. Don't worry about blogging and just concentrate on getting better. :)

    I remember all these posts you linked. I've been reading a long time and read them back when they were first posted. The one with your heiling kids though is probably my favoritist. Though I do crack up whenever I remember your Bad Romance music video review...

  21. Hahaha it might be a little late, but read this hilarious "fan fic" of 50 shades:


Say some stuff! If you can't think of anything to say, leave a link to a cute dog picture. I'm easy.