Saturday, May 11, 2013

Roadhouse: "Tact and How To Have It"

This week on Roadhouse, tact and the tactless things people have said to us.

14 comments:

  1. You talking about how people addressed you as sir when you had a shaved head....I know your feels. I'm 6' 4", have short hair, and contrary to popular belief, I am pansexual and a woman and I identify as such.

    But even then, I have people call me sir whenever I go anywhere in public. I've had women tell me I need to go use the mens bathroom because "you're in the wrong bathroom" they would say to me. Everyone thinks I'm a man for some reason. When I try to tell them that I'm female, 90% of the time I get the answer "But women aren't supposed to be that tall" ._.

    I'm not *supposed* to be this tall, eh? Its not like I had any control over it. Then the other 10% of time its people asking me if I'm physically a woman and if I was born that way like they want me to get naked and prove that I have a vagina and that my tits are indeed not just a stuffed bra, which I'm tempted to do sometimes when people hound me about it.

    While most of these things don't phase me much any more, its just like you said. What gives people the right to comment on me and things I had no control over? And even the things I did and do, mainly my hair, I always have people tell me "women look better with long hair. Grow it out". Srsly. Why do people do that shit? Why would you walk up to someone and question their gender and sometimes even their sexuality like its YOUR business when you don't even know the person?

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    1. I honestly never ever got the whole bathroom issue. I "got it" when I was...younger than 5 because that's what you did- the girls harassed the boys and the boys harassed the girls and the bathroom lines provided a targets for both sides.

      Then I grew up and lost interested in the "bathroom wars" because people, adults, apparently were still fixated on the same 5 year old mentality that I grew out of. Also I ended up in a few situations where I had to use the "other" bathroom and got rather pissed that people were using it as a shame/control tactic when they had no business to.

      So yeah, I really don't care what bathroom a person uses so long as they are using for bathroom purposes and this whole law bull shit being passed to arrest people using the "wrong" bathroom is just....fuck you dumb people. I will never agree to those laws, will petition against them and anyone who calls out a person using the "wrong" bathroom in my line of sight gets chewed out for having less than the mental capability of a brain damaged druggie.

      Unless there's this whole big thing that I have been missing and there is an actual REASON for us to paranoid about people using the "correct" one. I live under a rock, I miss things. And don't try to tell me it's a rape/assault/peeping tom issue- that obviously goes under the "not using a bathroom for bathroom purposes" list.

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    2. Not meaning to high jack the topic or anything, this bathroom issue has just been on my mind more than it should be. Because it's fucking *words fail me at this point* for a state to pass a law to arrest people over it.

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    3. Oh no, I completely agree, as long as you're actually going to the bathroom to use the toilet, wash your hands, etc., things you're actually supposed to do in the bathroom, it shouldn't matter what gender you are or what bathroom you use. It'd be different if you went into the opposite bathroom to ogle people or assault them, like you said.

      Its just annoying to constantly have my gender/sexuality questioned in every day life, especially when I'm just trying to go to the bathroom, you know? I'm not in there for people to whisper about me and tell me to gtfo. I just have to use the toilet, yet people try to make it their business. I could be jumping up and down waiting in line for a stall, trying not to piss on myself, and someone will walk up to me and look disgusted then tell me to go use the "right" bathroom. And its just.....grrrrr.

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    4. Why should my personal life matter to these strangers? Why does it matter what I have in between my legs? Why should these people care who I'm attracted to? Why assume all these things just based on how I look?

      I understand, I would be curious if I was someone else and I had never met me, but I wouldn't just walk up to someone and ask "HEY ARE YOU A MAN?!" or "ARE YOU A LESBIAN?!" in an obviously rude tone. If you're curious about me, fine, I'm a relatively nice person. I will answer your questions as long as you understand that I, too, am a human being, and treat me with the same respect I treat you with. The moment someone starts talking to me in a disgusted or rude tone because they are personally disgusted or horrified with me as a person just based on how I look, instead of getting to know ME, not my physical appearance, that's what makes me rage.

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  2. As a mom of three special needs kids, I have a whole list of tactless things people say. My favorite, though, was when someone heard my daughter has seizures and they said to me, "My dog had those. We had to put her down."

    Uhm, WTF? Do you hear yourself? 1) Are you comparing my KID to your PET? and 2) Are you suggesting we euthanize my daughter?

    So,yeah, when in doubt STFU or just say, "I'm sorry to hear that."

    There's nothing to do but laugh at people THAT tactless.

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    1. Someone said that to me, when I said I was having seizures. She was like, "Oh, my parents dog had seizures, it was so terrifying to watch, I felt so bad for her." Okay. You totally understand my experience as a human being experiencing a total brain reboot, because you saw a dog do it and you felt real, real bad. WAT.

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  3. I once had someone tell me: "I hope you don't think this is mean, but you look exactly like Linda Blair." No, I didn't think it was mean. Not until you asked me to hope I didn't think so. Why would it be bad to look like Linda Blair? I really did resemble her when I was a kid. Quite a lot, actually.

    So, yeah, I ended up wondering the rest of the night if I looked more like "possessed" Linda Blair or "regular" Linda Blair.

    What is next week's topic, Jenny?

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  4. I love you guys. I had tears from laughter at a couple of points. And I love your curly/wavy hair, Jenny. I think it looks nice. :)

    Sometimes I think people have no tact because it’s the Age of the Internet. People can say whatever they want on the internet and have no repercussions because it’s all anonymous. And, for some people, that can carry over into real life. I imagine there was a lot more tact when everything was done face to face and people had to think about being socially appropriate and how their words could affect other people.

    Thanks for an awesome Roadhouse!

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  5. Jenny I love Roadhouse!!

    I normally have no filter at all and now I'm trying to have more tact. The worst for me is that I don't usually get angry about what others are telling, even if it's suppose to be ofensive and I end up thinking the others feel the same.
    Frustating.

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  6. When I was pregnant with my first child I saw my aunt a holiday dinner and she said "You got fat Cindy". In her defence she wasn't all there mentally. But I've always been overweight and when I was pregnant I was always asked if I was having twins. Made me wanna punch somebody. My other WTF fat girl comment came feom a recovering meth addict. I was telling her how great she was doing with her recovery and we were talking about how she waa getting her health back on track when she looked at me and said "You know? Chubby girls are so much nicer than skinny girls." Rather than say "you haven't seen me with PMS" I said "well when you're teased mercilessly for being fat you either two ways. You either become an uber bitch to eveyone or you try to show others the humanity, grace and respect you were never given."

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  7. Sorry that was supposed to say 'at a holiday dinner' and 'you go either two ways'. Shaky hands and a mind that sometimes goes faster than my fingers can type is the perfect recipe for numerous typos.

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Say some stuff! If you can't think of anything to say, leave a link to a cute dog picture. I'm easy.